Dear Vance~ 9/3/24

It sounds like there's a fuckin hurricane outside. I have so many questions for you, still. Some days I just live my life, and don't think about you, at all, but other days, like today, you're all I think about... Take good care of Jake Irving, k? I don't know what the whole story there is; if it was on purpose or an accident, but he's probably so lost. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, and say it was an accident, but he must have been even more depressed than you were, and you would frequently come over, behind Savannah's back, to get a different kind of high by making out with me. You're the whole reason I don't drink. Yeah, my liver is already overwhelmed from all the medications I'm prescribed, but I remember the taste of whiskey on your lips. Which is a stab in the heart, if there ever was one. I've now come to realize that getting high and/or drunk was a prerequisite for you kissing me, and if that doesn't murder my self-esteem... 

Remember how I told you that you're a trendsetter? Well, be that as it may, slide over because if anyone deserves to preside over the LP Suicide Squad, it's Jake.

I still love you, Vance.

Hey, it's me

Dear Grandma Sandy~
You would be so proud of me, I made asparagus. I was ready to make it in a pan with butter and salt, but I was at Erik's parents' place in Alpine and they had a steamer, so I used that. I miss you Grandma.

Brian Jacob Irving~

Unfortunately, Jake, this is the only picture I have of you. It's not even a very clear one. I wish I had taken a picture with you when I saw you at the reunion in July. Brian Jacob Irving, I'm late to the game, but I have always, always loved you. Maybe if I had told you that earlier, you'd still be here. Maybe I'm feeling survivor's guilt. Maybe it was an accident. But I wish I would have told you before it was too late. I love you. God be with you, wherever you are.

I literally cannot handle anymore death.