Dear James~

I should have never taken you back the first time. Yes, you would always be my 'what-if' but I'd rather that, than to remember you as the boy who always broke my heart. Broke my heart repeatedly and now it's fully crushed. What was that word I used after last time? Ah, yes, obliterated. Now that I only have fragments of a heart to work with, I'll be damned if I ever find someone else because who would want to try to piece back together my crushed heart. I thought you were the one, James. I gave you my everything, and you just shrugged and said you could find someone else. This coming from the same boy who told me when we started dating that you never would. How's that working for ya now? I'm crushed now but give me a little bit longer, I'll be over it in no time. Know what bugs me the most? It's that for one freaking second, I let my heart think and told my head to shut up and somehow, fell in love. But the boy I fell in love with lied to me for weeks and told me he loved me too and then dumps me right when I thought I heard wedding bells. I was talking to my friend Dylan the other day and he said 'he sounds like a dick.' And then he proceeded to say something about how I always fall for the dicks, douche bags, and the ass holes. Do you like that that's the classification that you fall in line with? You're not an ass hole for making me think you loved me, no, you're an ass for telling me, AFTER YOU DUMP ME, that you were about to propose. So I'll try to be your friend but how can I be friends with someone who I'm used to kissing? Someone who likes to lead me on? Someone who lies through his teeth? You say that it worked before you but the last person I kissed before you was essentially a rapist. So of course it would have worked before. I never got this far involved with anyone before. I would kiss people if I lost a football game bet. How did you expect this would go? That you could get me to fall for you and then throw up the deuces and I would be fine? Cause that's not how it went at all. I got more deeply involved with you than I probably will with anyone else for the rest of my life. I wouldn't be able to live with myself for the rest of my life, let alone with anyone else. I'm fervently crying as I'm writing this. I hope you're pleased with yourself, happy about all the heartache you caused. We can try to be friends, but I make no promises.

♥Kirsten