Dear Kiera~

Monday night, Kiera Larsen - a ten-year old, elementary school child in Lakeside, California - was playing in the road with two toddlers when suddenly, a Mercedes parked on the side of the road (driveway), not turned on, shifts into drive and nearly runs over the two babies. Kiera pushes them out of the way and she takes the full brunt of the force. The news story I read said she died in the hospital but the clip I watched said she died in the ambulance. Anyways, what you did was so brave Kiera. If you weren't already a beautiful girl, you are now. I admire your actions. As a girl who has danced with death, I know that it's something I never want to do again, but to not just shimmy with death, but to take it head on, that takes guts. I feel bad that I only know of you because my dad said something earlier about this story.  Being from California, I feel like I should have known you but we lived in different cities, and you probably still in your momma's belly by the time we moved, almost 11 years ago. It's an irrational thought, this feeling of mine. I hope that Jake, Vance, and my Grandma Sandy are friends with you. I'm sure they'd love you. I know I do.
                                                          ❤️me

Dear Jake~

Dear Jake-

It's been forever.

How are you?

How's everything going?

Better than before?

"Before what?" you say.

Before your meltdown of 2012.

Yeah, sorry I didn't make it to your funeral

I had every intention to go but...

Things got complicated. 

And between fighting for my life

And trying to remember who I was and who everyone else is,

I was busy. 

Plus, I couldn't even remember who you were or how I knew you so I'm sure that would have been a really interesting conversation. I imagine it would've gone like this:

Are you Jake?

"Last time I checked, yeah"

Unfortunately, I can't remember what happened or how I knew you. Help me out?

"Remember Brayden?" you'd say

Anderson?

"That's the one."

Umm not really, I mean I know who he is but...

"So you don't remember hot tubbing at my house every weekend?"

No. But you see, things aren't really copacetic in my head. Somethin about a traumatic brain injury?

"Oh. I'm sorry"

I'm not. In my opinion, one of the best ways to go is trying to be there for your friends. 

"But, Kik, you didn't die. I need you to find my parents and tell that I'm okay."

K, Jake, I will. 

I'm sure that's the conversation we had in heaven or wherever we were.

Or something, somethin like that.

I guess I need to talk to his parents. Excuse me.

Dear Grandma Sandy~

I'm not going to ask you all the why questions. 

All I want to know is if heaven is nice. 

Is it always warm?

Is the sky always blue and cloudless?

Is it everything you thought it would be?

Is it even better than you thought?

How beautiful is it?

More beautiful than all the pretty girls who've ever existed?

Better than your wildest dreams?

Better than mine?

Did you know that Bill's parents house smells like yours?

Like coffee and fake flowers and love?

Do you know how much I love that?

How much I miss that?

How much I miss you?

How much Grandpa Ken misses you?

Do you even know?

What it's like to loose the best friend that you were to me my mom and Ken?

Not only that, but to loose your best friend three days before your birthday, therefore making 2012 the crappiest year ever?

My heart still hurts. 

I'm not saying this to hurt you, or trying to pull a 'poor me, pity me' scene, because the last thing I want is anybody's pity. 

I'm just voicing my thoughts, finally. 

Someone has to. 

I miss you. 

I'm going to go on a family history mission and you bet your butt (I know how much you loved to gamble) that you are the first one I'm being baptized for. 

Eternity just wouldn't be the same without you or any of our other family, to be honest. 

I love you so much.

I hope that you're proud of the life decisions I'm making. 

I'll see you soon, okay?

❤️me