Dear Jake~

Hi. I went over to your house for dinner tonight. We grilled out and it was exciting because I, myself, had never made anything on the grill before. I'm basically a pro now, in case you were wondering. I love your parents Jake. I wish you were still here, to celebrate things like my first grill out where I actually grill out. I realize now that Jolene isn't your biological mother but she's your mom and that's better anyways. Jolene told me that when you were like twelve, you said that you wished she was your real mom. She also wanted to apologize for your stupid decision that majorly impacted my life but I interrupted her and said that it wasn't your fault at all. You didn't force me to have bad habits, bringing me to not have gas or follow road laws. That was all me. I should be thanking you. I could have been in a worse accident, if I hadn't been in that one that day. I could've been paralyzed or been completely brain dead, or worse, I could physically be asleep, but my brain could be awake. That would be torture. I could be able to remember everything. All the pain, all the trauma, everything. I'd like to think that I'm still here because of you. Sometimes, rarely, I wonder what it would be like if I had died, but then you would be responsible for your death and mine and I don't think you would be able to deal with that for all eternity. I'm excited to see you again. I look forward to it. I miss you. I love you Jake. If there was ever anyone that dying on my way to go see them would be okay, it would be you. You guys just weren't ready for me yet. I love you.