Dear Grandma Sandy~

I'm not going to ask you all the why questions. 

All I want to know is if heaven is nice. 

Is it always warm?

Is the sky always blue and cloudless?

Is it everything you thought it would be?

Is it even better than you thought?

How beautiful is it?

More beautiful than all the pretty girls who've ever existed?

Better than your wildest dreams?

Better than mine?

Did you know that Bill's parents house smells like yours?

Like coffee and fake flowers and love?

Do you know how much I love that?

How much I miss that?

How much I miss you?

How much Grandpa Ken misses you?

Do you even know?

What it's like to loose the best friend that you were to me my mom and Ken?

Not only that, but to loose your best friend three days before your birthday, therefore making 2012 the crappiest year ever?

My heart still hurts. 

I'm not saying this to hurt you, or trying to pull a 'poor me, pity me' scene, because the last thing I want is anybody's pity. 

I'm just voicing my thoughts, finally. 

Someone has to. 

I miss you. 

I'm going to go on a family history mission and you bet your butt (I know how much you loved to gamble) that you are the first one I'm being baptized for. 

Eternity just wouldn't be the same without you or any of our other family, to be honest. 

I love you so much.

I hope that you're proud of the life decisions I'm making. 

I'll see you soon, okay?

❤️me